You’d be surprised at the lengths we go to around here. Boondocks bottoms are the best looked after backsides in festival-land, just check out these quotes about last year’s loos:
“Last years were heavenly compared to the WOMAD ones”
“Last years’ were fine, plenty of loo roll and anti-bac”
“The ones last year were great”
“You did very well with the toilets last year, I was very impressed”
“Last year’s were fine. Stick with ’em“
But despite the positive comments, Festival Director Dave Shephard has been investigating the latest in toilet tech in an attempt to win the coveted ‘best toilets at a festival’ award for 2016. And to be honest, we’re happy to let him.
He’s currently quality testing a new variety that has ‘a bigger gape’. When we discover exactly what that is, we’ll be sure to let you know. Or how about the ones with spring loaded seats – so they only go down when you actually sit on them, avoiding, erm… sprinkles.
We’ll get Colonel Crap to update all of us when his mission is complete. He’s been in there for a while now…